Change

I was offered a dental hygiene job with Heartland Dental Care in the summer of 2008. In order to take the full time position with Heartland, I had to quit my job at the dental office where my Hygiene career began. I'll admit to this day I was intimidated. I was worried I would regret leaving the job I had become so comfortable with for one that I knew was a world apart from where I'd been. Working in private practice for three years meant that I had heard a lot of things about corporate dentistry and their so called "drive thru dental practices" with elaborate treatment plans and money hungry motives, but I took the job anyway.

I am so glad I took the job. The opportunity Heartland gave me turned out to be more than just a job. It changed my life. In the short year I worked with the wonderful people at Lifetime Smiles, my attitude and perspective completely changed. I learned about dentistry, team work, life, and myself. I established life long relationships, experienced both personal and professional growth, and developed an even greater passion for dentistry. I loved my job, my patients and my co-workers/friends. In December 2008, I was accepted to the University of Louisville School of Dentistry. After almost four years of practice I had finally found my place in the dental world, but I had to make a choice. I chose to quit my job and go to dental school, and then I cried.

I really cried. I cried so hard I couldn't drive home. I pulled over in the Meijer parking lot and sobbed for an hour. I didn't know how I was going to leave something that was so important to me. Like I said before, Heartland and the people there were a big part of my life and I felt like I was letting everyone down. Letting down my team, my patients, and myself. I walked away from something I truly loved in order to gain something I truly wanted. I made a choice and that choice brought me here.

Here I am about to finish my second year of dental school. Here I am thinking about all the change I have been through and all the change that is coming my way. Here I am blogging about the past in order to try and sort out the future, or to at least soften its fearful features. Here I am with the world in the palm of my hands, the world with all of its opportunity and choices. Here I am wondering what choices I should make and what kind of change my choices will bring...

Clean Slate

It's the first day of March and I love it! I love the first day of any month. There's something exciting about it. Something fresh and clean. Maybe it's the obsessive compulsive nature in me, but I have always appreciated the closure of the previous month and enjoy the anticipation of what the next month might bring.

February was a short month, no pun intended. A short month that required a lot of hard work and determination, but one that also allowed for some quality self-reflection. I registered for the mini-marathon, the triple crown of running, and boards. I made plans to cash in my birthday present, two plane tickets out west, for an overdue vacation in August. I also started this blog, ran the first of the three crown races, made a full gold crown, had an endoscope, ran three consecutive eight and a half minute miles, met some new people, aced all of my exams, ate at new restaurants, planted seeds for a new friendship, killed an orchid, and started working on a gluten free diet. So although February may have only lasted twenty-eight days, they were all full of that sweet sweaty success that I feed on. 

My favorite of February's successes drives my excitement for the clean slate and fresh scent of March, the success of inadvertent self-reflection. A few days ago, a new friend of mine inadvertently unlocked the doors which were barricading me from myself. I felt awakened, as if I had been sleep walking my way through dental school. I felt exfoliated, as if I were shedding the skin of whomever the strangers I had been wearing. I was already aware of how my attitude toward and false perception of life here in Louisville was affecting me and my ability to enjoy it here, but I was oblivious to the consequences that my character were facing. Oblivious to the fact that the people around me were conceptualizing the person they THINK I am. I am nothing if I am not unforeseeable, but I cannot blame them for assuming certain explanations for my apparent lack of interest in them. Which is precisely the reason I am breaking out the eraser from my life survival kit. An eraser to remind myself that March is a new month and that I can start out on a clean slate. That I can erase this pseudo hermit from my life and start developing the relationships I have missed out on thus far.

It is the first day of March and I love it! I love March for all of its opportunity and room for growth. I love March for its fresh scent and clean slate.